Sunday, May 6, 2018

biggest problem

you want to know what is your biggest problem nadd ?
you have the problem of putting other people first rather than yourself.
you have try to put yourself first so many times but it will always comes back in negative way.
you care too much about other people.
you love too much.
way too much.

even you know the problem of loving someone more is hurting you more.

the pain sometimes you keep just kill you slowly.
i wonder how it means of care when you don't care when i breakdown.
you can just walk out from the house like nothing happen.
how it calls care?

is it hard just to say sorry.
is it hard just to come and talk about it.

I saw he looks at me with hate.
I saw he looks at me without love.

even in the end I pulled down my ego saying sorry.
trying to make things ok.
even blaming myself over and over again.

even the one hurt is me.

Saturday, March 24, 2018



They say that the perfection of some relationships lies in its imperfections. Without our ups and downs, we wouldn't be where we are today. You know how I feel about you better than I do. You know you're my strength, but what you don't know, is that you're also my weakness. I don't like people taking you for granted, and sometimes I don't like the misconceptions they have about you. What I don't like even more, is discussing these misconceptions in public. Though you may already know this, I thought I should start this letter from the problem itself.
I am sorry I behaved in this particular manner and that somewhere, I destroy both of us. Maybe I read more than I should have into what was being said. Whatever maybe the circumstance, I agree those cheating were completely unnecessary and uncivil. I am really, genuinely sorry about what happened and I apologize from the bottom of my heart. Please give me a chance to make it up to you in person. Let's put this incident behind us and look at better things in the future.



Dear AMZ,

I know you are more hurt than angry. Trust me, it was never my intention. Sometimes, things are complicated. The only way they can be made simple, is by ignorance. It was never by intention to lie to you, I never have had to. And you know this. In all these time, we've shared our deepest feelings, our most complex emotions. Why then would I not tell you something so naive? Yes, I make a wrong move, I did not trust you to tell you about this. However, this was before you came into my life. It wasn't something worth discussing, I thought it is not worth it, and in just a few days, you had me fall head over heels for you. I still could have told you about it, but you and him are being friends and it just complicated the whole thing.

I'm sorry you had to know about this in these circumstances. I can completely understand how it must have been for you to get to know about this. It isn't your fault either, I'm sure I am making a big mistakes.

All I want to say is I'm sorry, and trust me, this apology means a lot to me. I don't know why I can't do this in person. Maybe I'm a coward, maybe I'm just bad at confrontation. However, whether in person or through this letter, it is important that my apology reaches you.

I love you, more than what both of us know. I'm sure our love is stronger than the troubles that are a part of it. Whenever you're ready, let's talk it out and give this relationship one more chance. We both deserve it.



"How do I say the words I'm sorry when I know that words are not enough? And how can I ask you to forgive me when I know I can't forgive myself?"
- Martin Kember